a letter to my dad...

Dearest Dad,

I write to ask you what happened?

I try to be patient. To understand.

But this knife in my side is starting to take it’s toll.

Vulnerable.

Alone.

Angry.

Trying to understand you is painful.

Yet I still call you my dad, just for that hair of a chance that you’ll come back.

Catch in the yard, model cars, Football games,

Memories washed out by the tears threaded through my veins.

While my heart strings cry the blues.

And I’m tired.

I’m tired of the small talk.

I’m tired of this time bomb beneath my ribs that’s about to burst,

3..

2..

1.. more chance I guess.

I used to look up to you.

I wanna be like daddy when I grow up.

And Sometimes I see myself in you.

It’s looking in a mirror that’s shattered by disappointment.

And I cut myself picking up the pieces.